Life is constantly changing. Just as the four seasons nothing remains stagnant. The rules of the universe according thermal dynamics are that everything is in a constant process of transforming from an organised to an unorganised state. Sometimes things fall apart and it seems like the end of the world but it's not. Really it's just the start of a new world, a new chapter in our lives.
Very recently my world felt like it was falling part. My marriage and 17 year relationship collapsed and has now officially ended. We (Kim & I) met when I was only nineteen years old, we were just kids. We viewed the world and each other through young eyes. As we aged we headed in different directions, formed different interests and this brought about much frustration, which is not a cool thing to display in front of young kids. And so with the best intentions to provide a happier home for our girls we amicably decided to separate with the theory that we'd be happier and thus our children would have parents with better happy heads fit to make good parenting decisions.
Its not been easy, as you've probably guessed from some of my previous posts I've been rather down of late, but we both agree its for the greater good. I've had people try to talk me out of it and then people telling me that we've put intelligence and thought into a very hard choice. We both hope that the kids will benefit with happier parents. I still love Kim, just in a different way to when I was 19. Over the last few years we've just found it challenging to live with each other without going mad.
The great thing is that instead of my kids seeing me work my butt off, they now get my undivided attention. We still go out for forest adventures, we love the seasonal tasks of foraging and gardening and eating the food thats in season and we spend time together with more love than ever. For this I'm grateful. I've been very fortunate to have a bunch of amazing friends, in fact we both have had great support. It's hard times for that there is no doubt, but instead of living together and hating each other by the time we're in our twilight years we now are back to being friends. Just like where we started off all those years ago when we had the best of intentions and a lifetime ahead of us. Why am I telling you such a personal matter? Well I figure I ought to be honest with the people that take the time to come visit. Isn't that what friends do? And I know I'll probably have some haters, well haters gonna hate. Lovers well….thats a different story. Love and striving for happiness is the driver in my world.
I just want to say thank you to all the amazing support and now wet shoulders that I've cried on. Some amazing people out there that have reached out to me. Kate, Juz, Margz, Ky, Kim, Cath, Joel, Em, Tone and Mum & Dad thanks and mad love.
So with the change in season we've moved on from summer harvesting of ripe tomatoes, beans and lettuce etc and moved back to wild mushrooms, chestnuts and starting to cook with the vegetables that I grew over summer. With the change of season we've noticed an abundance in end of summer insects like ladybugs and the fields are full of young rabbits, ducks and plump quail.
So guys the message is……life's to short for anything BUT happiness.
My two girls are the most beautiful things in my world. I dearly love my time with them.
On a final note....I made the most divine pumpkin soup tonight for my new house family Kate & kids. Thanks for letting me stay! I'll continue to cook for you as payment ;-)